publichouse.sg

As the only sexologist in Singapore, my work is incredibly isolating. I have joined several virtual communities for sexologists including those on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Yahoo, as well as the listserv managed by American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).

I wonder if you have a community of likeminded people supporting you in the work that you do. Whilst they are not your birth-family, you can still feel close to them, hence the term “spiritual family.”

In his book, Rich Brother, Rich Sister, Robert Kiyosaki suggested that you ask these four questions to find your spiritual family:

Have you heard of the saying, “Speech is Silver, Silence is Golden?” This phrase can be traced back to early Egyptians and it essentially means that while speaking is good, saying nothing is better. Discretion can be worth more than even eloquent words.

Have you ever felt glad, relieved even, to get away from someone because the person would not stop talking, and worse yet, about themselves?

Have you wished the person sitting behind you on the bus or standing behind you on the train would stop talking into their phone or to the person next to them at the top of their voice?

Last September, I attended a ten-day residential program, which is part of the Sexological Bodywork certification in Australia. Though this was the second time I was going through this program, I was returning as one of four assistant coaches. I felt it was important to connect with my community (sex-positive people who spoke my lingo), refresh my skills and acquire new knowledge.

We are most definitely now into the year of the Water Dragon! How was your Chinese New Year? Did you use the occasion to catch up with family and friends, take a well-deserved break, or “escape” the contrived pleasantries by travelling overseas?

After reading the piece, "My Secret Grief. Over 35, Single and Childless", on Huffington post, I posted this on my Facebook wall:

“Martha is urging for greater sensitivity towards your fellow humans this Chinese New Year. Don't be one of those well-meaning people asking others if they are in a relationship, going to get married, have kids, have more kids, blah blah. It really doesn't affect the quality of your life, but it may affect theirs!”